Choosehellnosex, 35

o, ive been celibate for a little over two years, Aug 2010. Ive been s----l active since 13 but was celibate between 15-17 while my brother was in iraq. He died in 2006 in july after my birthday in june while conducting special operations in iraq. Before he died I was a prospect for priest hood, I was asked twice and and dened it but kept it in mind, and a third time after he died. Celibacy to me is a hard venture, its rough and not always pleasant being by your self Ive been facing alienation and isolated situations that lead me to go down many roads on my own. Since the passing of my brother one burden does bare a hardship, Im the last in line for our name, and that its a decision that is difficult. Ive tried to start a family and failed twice. So I decided to become celibate again for my self. So far since 13 Ive acuminated 5 1/2 years of celibacy and in those years times were the toughest. Its just the need to be affectionate that I cant seem to get gratification out of my self.